it has been a week since i came home.. intern at ranhill had finally ended.. somehow i missed the times n days when i was there..my experience in ranhill.. i enjoyed being surrounded by such wonderful colleagues.. catherine my wonderful 'si jie', denise my 'si tai', of course mr david my 'si fu', ah leng:minhui who gav a lot of advice to me, poh ling the chemist, aitee, yah lee, ashley, syam, amir, mr ng kuan seong my supposingly direct supervisor,yen mei n etc.. i missed the days where i would arrive office around 8.15am n drop by the pantry to hav breakfast n the early talks.. i missed the lunch session tat we hav.. catherine n denise.. i missed the gossip session with u two! i missed messin around with poh ling's and ai tee's work.. i m the fuss maker in the office where i turn all of u upside down.. haha.. ranhill gav me a good workin experience though i wasnt involved in much chemist work.. but i get to experience how is it like workin in an environmetn with different level of ppl.. oh n i got famous known as ella.. even KP called me ella in the technical trainin.. p/s.. KP was my executive director.. the last day of intern.. the annual dinner was fun.. i m glad i hav played a role in it though jus a small part.. i m back at home with 2 more weeks worth of hols b4 my new sem commence.. it was bored..

today was the first day after 6 days worth of hols where i officially felt bored n in the end. yes.. as usual influence my mood of the day.. yesterday went off to meet beh. kevin n lai as well as liping at sg wang.. a not so well known route for me.. seriously if u dump me at sg wang n ask me to find u at certain shop i would b lost in it.. the times where i m there can actually b counted with one single hand i guess.. wat to do.. lai is workin there so we went off to meet him for lunch.. i came all the way to sg wang by train jus to meet them for lunch.. i never knew i was such a good friend.. haha.. previously bro's gf, hui lee's younger sister came for a visit. i went out with them to one u to shop.. my mom actually agreed to let my bro swap his card for me to shop but with a budget of rm200 only.. unortunately i was unable to find any dress tat i like.. only bought a shirt which in the end i paid on my own coz it was kinda cheap since it was a discounted item. i finished my testimonial writting n need to go back to office next week to c my si fu.. let him sign n visit my colleagues as well.. sigh.. only one week of hols i m already rottin at home.. i never like hols for a long time...

a lot had happen since the last time i blogged.. but i didnt know how to express it.. my feelings at this very moment.. this is the time where i was unable to find an words to express out.. i wished i had a known path in front which i could follow n lead me to the rite way.. a bright path which i could go thru.. i woe to myself as time pass i will grow n glow on my own.. this is a promise i  must assure on my own.. when one was young, we always hope to grow up faster.. but when we grow up we sometimes still behave n think like a youngster.. n sometimes even wishin time could stop or turn back.. do we really wished to grow up? did we really grow with time? i only wished i grow into a happier person.. or was it tat i wished to be a happy go lucky person which i once was? time passed by n with a blink of eye i had already hit the big 2.0. when i was workin, colleague gave me some piece of advice.. it is time.. time for me to start the plannin of my future path.. they ask me if i hav interest in wat i m doin now.. ask me wat do i plan to do.. which field i wan to go into.. but all i could answer is i didnt know yet.. i need guidance.. how will i know wat to do?

i had always had a wish.. i always had wish i could go out n c the world.. i had always wished i could travel around.. i had always wished that someday i could go backpackin walk around n feel tat i belong to this world.. it has been a really long time since i had last travelled for a holiday.. not countin the time where i had to go back to my hometown for new year.. tat wasnt a holiday for me.. everytime i wanted to plan for a hols with my fren in the end it sure doesnt work out. i dunno y.. ended up being frustated with things.. i tot of travellin on my own but parents wouldnt allow.. previously there is a person who promised to bring me to travel on hols.. but before we manage to go off together, we had already been walkin on own path separately.. sometimes i wished there is a place where i could shed tears.. a shoulder a simple hug when i was feelin down.. but sometimes accepting seems hard for me.. trust doesnt seem to build up anymore.. commitment was a word i tried to avoid.. myself,alone, tough had been the words i live on these days..happiness had been the thing i was searchin n tryin to build.. frens was wat i live on as well but was also wat made me feel worse sometimes..

next week.. i planned to follow wen yi to the saloon to do somethin to my hair once again.. had not figure out yet wat.. most prob will be highlightin it i guess.. previously during annual dinner the stylist trim my hair into a small kid look.. considerin should i re-trim into another style.. =) two weeks to go.. i will survive these.. avoid bad mood, avoid any arguments with my parent n family.. how could my life b colourful again?